All that Mattered
by NettieC
Summary: Harm hasn't been himself - can Mac make him realise what matters in life?


**All that Mattered**

This was written for the HBX March Challenge 2011 but for whatever reason wasn't posted here. I found it while clearing out my JAG stories file and thought I'd post it. My muse has well and truly gone and I can't say if or when I'll post a new story. So, I'll take this opportunity to thank all those who have made my time here so enjoyable. Your friendship, support and enthusiasm has meant more than you will know. Hopefully, I'll catch up with you all again soon.

Take care,

**Nettie**

xox

It was a dark, stormy Friday night and Harm was firmly ensconced in his loft, more than happy to leave the world to do as it pleased beyond his door. Recent weeks had been hard; physically, mentally and emotionally, and Harm didn't care if he didn't see another living soul for the rest of his life. Well, maybe not for that long, he thought to himself, but definitely until Monday morning.

After being away on investigation for the previous two weeks, Mac wasn't fully aware of the depths of Harm's mood. She had spoken to him Wednesday night and he had seemed flat, none of the usually banter and anything she said to lighten the mood was met with silence. Still, she wasn't to be put off, after all, he was hers and she was his and that's all that mattered.

Approaching his door, Mac was stopped by Jennifer Coates who was on her way out.

"Ma'am, it's good to see you again," she said, standing rigid in front of her.

"Good to see you too, Jennifer," she replied, before taking in the younger woman's outfit. "A hot date?"

"A date, ma'am," she said with a slight chuckle. "Hopefully it will be a hot one."

"Well, enjoy yourself," she replied taking another step towards Harm's door.

"Ah, ma'am," Jennifer said hesitantly. "I'm not sure you'll get the reception you're looking for," she added, nodding towards the door. "Commander Rabb's not been himself at all. He was in a bad mood all day and slammed his door so hard when he got home I thought it would come off the hinges."

"Thanks for the warning," she said, "But I'm sure he'll be fine."

"How can you be so sure?" Jennifer asked, locking her own front door.

"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse," she said, inserting her key into the lock on Harm's door. When Jennifer giggled, Mac realised how her comment could be construed. "What I meant was..."

"You don't have to explain, ma'am," said Jennifer.

"I think I do..." Mac said quickly.

"No, ma'am, you really don't," she said before adding 'goodnight' and heading towards the elevator.

What Mac meant was she was planning on taking her sailor out for dinner at his favourite seafood restaurant, and then to a movie of his choice so they could cuddle together without Harm feeling he would be pressured to talk about things. Shaking her head, she realised she couldn't undo what was done and so she pressed on with her mission.

The first thing that registered with Mac was the darkened apartment. Given it had only gone 1900, it was too early for him to have gone to bed and as there was no light coming from the bathroom he wasn't showering. Raising her hand, Mac searched for the light switch and flicked it on.

"Don't!" he said from his position on the window seat and just as quickly Mac turned it off again before making her way over to him. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I know," she replied as she approached him. "Came back a day earlier than expected."

Harm nodded.

"Hi," she said when she got close enough to plant a soft kiss on his lips.

"Hi , yourself," he replied, taking hold of her hand.

"How are you doing?" she asked making herself comfortable on his lap and caressing his face.

"Okay," he replied, though they both knew it was a lie.

"Wanna try again?" she asked, raking her fingers through his hair.

"Mac, I'm fine," he said and Mac knew from his tone that there was no point pushing the matter.

"Great!" she said with false enthusiasm. "In that case, let's go."

"Where?" he asked, not in the mood for anything.

"I was planning on taking you to Sullivan's and then to see that Bruce Willis movie you wanted to see," she said, standing up and tugging on his hands.

"Not tonight, Mac," he said, resisting her pull.

"Why not?" she asked, trying any tactic to get him to open up. "You are okay, aren't you?"

Harm smiled wearily; he knew this tactic. If he kept saying no, she'd insist on talking about what was wrong. If he said yes, she'd drop the topic. Rock meet hard place.

"Do you always get what you want?" Harm said, grumbling good naturedly as he got to his feet.

"Not always," she said, knowing she hadn't got him to talk yet, he frowned. "Yeah, maybe," she amended. In the six months they'd been together she had to concede that she had got her own way more often than not.

Over dinner, Mac monopolised the conversation. Not because she wanted to, but because Harm was being overly quiet. When she could take it no more, Mac took hold of his hands.

"Harm, what is it?" she asked in a whisper, her thumb rubbing against the back of his hand.

For a few moments, Harm looked at her, his blue eyes clouded with unshed tears.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" she asked again, squeezing his hand.

"Not here, Mac," he said, not really wanting this discussion at all, let alone in a public forum.

"Okay," she agreed, small steps, she told herself. "Did you want to go to the movie or home?"

"Home," he replied and Mac nodded.

Back at the loft, Mac was in the kitchenette preparing lavender tea for them both as Harm sat on the sofa, once again in his own little world. Concerned by his behaviour, Mac placed their tea on the coffee table before tucking her legs under her as she sat beside him on the sofa. Fighting her instincts, she said nothing; allowing the silence to wash over them hoping it would elicit a response.

A long while later, Harm decided to speak. "I want to talk to you about what's been going on with me ..." he started slowly. "But...well, it's hard and I don't know how you're going to react."

"Harm," she said, taking his hand and ignoring the nervous pounding of her heart, "Just let your conscience be your guide and let it all out."

"Are you sure?" he asked, trying to quell his churning stomach. When Mac nodded, he smiled nervously. "Well, fasten your seatbelt. It's going to be a bumpy night."

Mac nodded once more. "Well, just take a deep breath and talk to me," she whispered.

"For about the last six weeks, I haven't been myself," he said and Mac had to bite her tongue to stop herself from responding. "I thought at first it was the toll the Lexton case took on me...all those weeks and for what? A client who changed his mind and admitted his guilt on the witness stand on Day 9 of the trial"

"You couldn't have foreseen that," she said gently, squeezing his hand.

"I should have," he said firmly, shaking his head. He could usually read his clients better than that. "Then I thought the extra gym sessions and running would account for the level of physical exhaustion I was feeling..."

"It would..." Mac agreed; though she knew he had exerted far more energy over longer periods and still come away feeling fresh and energised.

"And then ... well, my emotions seem to be all over the place," he admitted. "One minute I'm feeling happy and the next I want to curl up and cry," he said, tears filling his eyes.

Mac nodded; she knew admitting these things to her was so hard on him. Quietly, she slipped from her current position to one on his lap and caressed his face. "What do you think the problem is?" she asked, kissing his forehead.

"Well, it's either the start of a midlife crisis," he said, resting his forehead against hers. "Or I'm losing my mind."

"I don't think it's either," she whispered rubbing their noses together. "I think it's something else."

"What?" he asked, looking up at him, his glassy eyes giving away the fact he was moments away from crying, something he knew had happened far too often for his liking lately.

"I think it has something to do with me," she said, stroking his face.

"No, it doesn't," he said adamantly. "It's me..."

"Hmm," she said, kissing him briefly before climbing off him and moving to the armchair and picking up her handbag.

"Don't go," he said, jumping to his feet. "I know I'm not good company but I don't want you to go..."

"I'm not going anywhere," she replied, fishing out the item she'd been looking for and dropping her bag back on the chair. "I think I might have your answer here."

Sitting him back in the middle of the sofa, Mac straddled him and caressed his face.

"You know I love you, don't you?" she asked and he nodded. "You know how this thing between us is the real thing and although we're not engaged yet we've been talking about a summer wedding?" Harm nodded once more. "Well, I think we're going to have to bring it forward to spring," she said, holding up the white stick.

While he knew it was a pregnancy test stick in her hand, the information wasn't registering.

"I was feeling a little off while I was away and did a test, just in case, and it was positive," she said, waving the stick. "Then I went to the doctor's to have it confirmed...and he did...I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?" he repeated, and Mac nodded.

"About six weeks," she said, gently kissing him.

"Six weeks pregnant," he reiterated and Mac nodded.

"The same six weeks where you haven't been feeling yourself," she said, trying to clarify the point for him. "I, myself, have been feeling just perfect, except for a little nausea last week...but you seem to be experiencing all the symptoms for me."

"You think my problem is I'm pregnant," he said, frowning.

"I think you are experiencing my pregnancy, and I think it's an amazing thing," she said, leaning in and kissing him deeply.

"You kiss beautifully," he said, pulling back with a grin.

"Well, I think you should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how," she said before kissing him again and again.

"If I remember correctly, this is how we got pregnant in the first place," he said, moving them to a more reclined position on the sofa, before kissing her thoroughly.

"Are you okay about the baby?" she asked, knowing she was elated herself.

"Absolutely," he said with a grin to match the Cheshire Cat. "And, before you ask, I'm more than happy to have all the symptoms I can for you."

"You are amazing," she said, caressing his face before kissing him once more.

"No, you are," he countered. "And I love you so very, very much, Sarah MacKenzie."

"I love you too, Harm," she said, before pushing her hand up under his shirt and starting a more physical encounter.

Then she realised that although she was feeling fine, Harm hadn't been.

"Are you okay with this?" she asked as his shirt went over his head.

"Yep," he said, as he pulled off her sweater.

"I mean are you up to it?" she questioned but when he pushed against her she realised he was up for anything.

"Promise me something though," he said as he continued to undress her.

"Anything," she replied, shimmying out of her jeans.

"Two things actually," he said, pulling off his jeans before leading her to the bedroom.

"What are they?" she asked, more than willing to let him unhook her bra.

"One, marry me?" he asked and although it wasn't the most romantic of proposals Mac grinned.

"Of course I will," she said, pulling down his boxers for him. "And two?"

"Take it easy with me," he said with a smirk, "I am pregnant you know."

"Of course I will," she said, dropping down onto the bed and pulling him with her. "Anything else?"

"Love me for the rest of my life?" he said, placing hot, open mouthed kisses down her neck towards her breast.

"Definitely," she moaned as his tongue found her nipple.

And then there was nothing but the two of them in this small corner of the world celebrating the new life they were about to embark on together with the new life they were going to bring into the world and that's all that mattered.


End file.
